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Written by Sri Swami Chandrashekarendra
Saraswati |
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The law has stipulated the minimum age for marriage. I wish it had also
stipulated the maximum age considering the attitude of people today.
We are not in the least justified in blaming the Law if girls aged 25 or
30
remain unmarried. The reason is our own indifference. Take the
upanayana samskara. After all, it does not come under the Sarda Act. .
Why then do we perform our son's upanayana together with his marriage
when he is 30 years or so? It is all due to our indifference to our
sastras,
our dharma.
Apart from this general apathy, most parents want to celebrate the
upanayana and marriage on a lavish scale, indeed like festivities. Both
get
postponed since the money has to be raised. That even a lifetime's
earnings are not sufficient to meet the expenses of a daughter's
marriage
is preposterous. The result is the samskaras are not performed at the
proper time as required by the sastras.
According to our scriptures money has nothing to do with these
samskaras. That today it has come to be so is a tragedy- and it is a
tragedy
that is of our own making. In none of the eight forms of marriage does
the groom have to be given any money. Even in the asura type it is the
groom that pays money, that is in exchange for the bride. If such a
transaction is considered demoniac, what would the rsis who authored
our sastras have thought of the prevailing custom of dowry, of the
groom's parents telling the bride's people: "Give us your daughter in
marriage and also cash." They could not have even imagined that such a
custom would ever crop up. There obtained the custom of "Kanya-sulka"
- money offered to the bride or "bride price" - which has some support
in
the canons. But you cannot find an iota of justification in our
scriptures
for the present dowry system.
Putting an end to this custom- this evil- is the marriage reform that is
the
true need of the country. Instead of carrying out such a reform, what we
have done is to stipulate- in the name of reform- the minimum age of
marriage for girls. And this has played havoc with our family and social
life. I am referring to the present phenomenon of girls going to work.
When it became difficult to find the money for the dowry, for the gifts
to
be made to the groom's people and for the lavish celebration of the
wedding, the Sarda act came in handy by obviating the need to be in a
hurry to hold the function. |
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