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Written by Sri Swami Chandrashekarendra
Saraswati |
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The Vedas are learned during the years of student-bachelorhood. Then
the "theory" taught has to be put into practice; in other words the
rites
prescribed in the Vedas must be performed. For this purpose a man has
to take a helpmate after he has completed his brahmacaryasrama. This
helpmate is a "property" that can never be separated from him. She is
not meant not only to be a cook for him, not only one to give sensual
gratification. She is called "dharma-patni" and also "yajna-patni". She
has
to be with her husband in the pursuit of dharma and has also to be a
source of encouragement in it. As a dharma patni, she has to be by his
side during the performance of sacrifices; she must also play a
supportive
role in all those rituals that have the purpose of making the divine
powers
favourable to mankind.
It must be noted that a wife creates well-being for the world even as
she
does the work of cooking or as a source of sensual gratification for her
husband. I will tell you how. It is not that she cooks for the husband
alone. She has to provide food every day to the guests, to the sick and
to
the birds and beasts and other creatures. This is how she serves the
purpose of "atithyam" and "vaisvadevam". The children born to here are
not to be taken as the product of pleasure she affords her husband. She
gives birth to them to perpetuate the Vedic dharma. Yes, even the
raising
of sons is intended for the dharmic life of the future. No other
religion
has before it such a goal for the marriage samskara.
In our religion the man-wife relationship is not concerned with the
mundane alone. It serves the Atman as well as the good of mankind. In
other religions too marriages are conducted, say, in a church with God
as
witness. But ideal of marriage is not as lofty as ours. The purpose of
marriage in our religion is to purify the husband further and to impact
the
wife fullness as his devoted and self-effacing companion. There is no
such
high purpose in the marriage of other religion. In other countries the
man-woman relationship is akin to a family or social contract. Here it
is an
Atman connection. But this very connection is a means of disconnection
also - of freeing the Atman, the self, from the bondage of worldly
existence. There is no room for divorce in it. Even to think of it is
sinful.
[To sum up and further explain] the three objectives of a samskara of so
elevated a character as marriage. The first is to unite a man with a
helpmate after he has completed the study of Vedas. This helpmate is
expected not only to run his household but assist him in the practice of
the Vedic dharma. The second is to bring forth into this world children
of
noble outlook and character who are to be heirs to the great Vedic
tradition, citizens of the future who will be the source of happiness in
this
world. The third is to create a means for women to be freed from worldly
existence. A man who is not yet fully mature inwardly is assisted in his
karma by his wife. By doing so, by being totally devoted to her husband,
she achieves maturity to a degree greater than he does. The fourth
objective is the subordination of sensual gratification to the other
three.
We have forgotten the first three important objectives. All that remains
is
the fourth, the enjoyment of carnal pleasure. If people take my advice
in
respect of the noble ideals of marriage as taught in the sastras a way
will
open out to them for their inner advancement. May Candramaulisvara
bless them. |
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