|
|
|
Written by Sri Swami Chandrashekarendra
Saraswati |
|
|
|
If brahmacarya prepares boys [or young men] to live according to
dharma, what about girls? A girl has neither Upanayana nor
Brahmacaryasrama. Should not a woman's mind also be disciplined like a
man's. If you echo the criticism of reformers and say that injustice has
been done to woman by denying them the Brahmacaryasrama and
Upanayana, my answer is "No".
Men marry after their Upanayana and student-bachelorhood. Now for
women marriage itself is Upanayana. Just as a boy dedicates himself to
his guru, a girl must dedicate herself to her husband from her childhood
until the start of their conjugal life and beyond. The Manusmriti says:
"Strinam upanayanam-sthane vivaham Manurabravit" (Manu says that
for women marriage is in place of upanayana). If you ask for an external
sign of this like sacred thread worn by the men, we may at once point to
the married woman's mangalasutra.
I said that "Upanayana" means "taking near", taking a boy near his guru
for his brahmacaryasrama. A woman's guru is her husband. Being joined
to him in wedlock is her upanayana.
According to the sastras, a boy's upanayana must be performed when he
is seven years old. A girl must be married at the same age. If a boy is
to be
initiated into brahmacarya before his mind is disturbed by kama, a girl
is
to be married before she feels the carnal urge. She must also accept her
husband as her guru. According to sastras, the guru must be looked upon
as Isvara. In the same way a child bride must think of her husband as
both
guru and Isvara and dedicate herself wholeheartedly
to him. She will be
able adopt such an attitude only when she is married very young. Later
she might start to reason about things, ask questions and develop
egoistic
feelings.
Laying oneself at the feet of the guru or Isvara -- in short surrender
--- is
the best means of liberating oneself. This concept of surrender is
proclaimed in the carma sloka of the gita, surrender to Isvara, guru or
husband: once you surrender to an individual or deity you no longer own
any thing. Isvara will give you his grace through the one to whom you
surrender.
According to the system devised by sages, a boy is made to surrender to
his guru at the time of his upanayana ceremony, while a girl does the
same to her husband at the time of her marriage.
It is not that the girl is considered inferior and asked to surrender to
a
man, that is her husband. The boy too is asked to surrender as a child
to
the guru. It is the view of the sastras that the age at which the girl
is
married and surrenders to her husband must be the same as that at
which the boy surrenders to the guru.
Talking of the husband and the wife, the question whether the one is
superior to the other or inferior is of no consequence. Equally
unimportant is the question of rights and status. If this is realised
surrender will be seen to be of the utmost importance. We must
appreciate the fact that it is in keeping with this view that the
concept of
upanayana has taken shape in the case of boys and marriage in the case
of girls. |
|
|
