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The samskara called marriage has a manifold purpose. One of its
important ideals is to make women inwardly pure through their
attachment to their husbands. With such attachment and devotion alone
will they make their way to the Ultimate. The disciple cleanses his mind
by surrendering to his guru. The wife must surrender to her husband for
the same purpose.
Our karma and the cycle of births and deaths we are subject to stem from
the unceasing activity of our mind. We sin by pandering to the desires
of
the mind and are born again and again. When the mind becomes still
there will be neither karma nor janma (birth)--this state is liberation.
Stilling the mind is extremely difficult. It may be possible to attain
the
eight great siddhis; but it is impossible to still the mind and be
oneself, so
says the Tamil saint-poet Tayumanavar.
If we cannot control or still our mind on our own, the next best thing
is to
dedicate it to another person, not allowing it to sway according to our
likes and dislikes. We shall not then be subject to the consequences of
doing things on our own which means we shall not be subject either to
sin or rebirth. If we lay our mind at the feet of another person we will
absolve ourselves of the responsibility of being a "karta' or doer. So
we
will not suffer the consequences that we will otherwise have to suffer
for
our actions like papa, punya or another birth. We are taught to dedicate
ourselves to Isvara in an attitude of surrender, implying that we do not
do
anything on our own. But only one in a million is disposed in this way.
However, there are a large number of examples in the history of our
religion of women who have shown that a wife can be liberated by
looking upon her husband as Isvara. The husband is the Lord in flesh and
blood; even if he be a stone the husband is a husband. Total loyalty to
him and the desire to die a "sumangali" are the ideals that have
inspired
the dharma of our womanhood from time immemorial.
It is true that all countries have produced great women.
All religions too have given birth to men and women of exemplary
character. But it cannot be claimed that the qualities mentioned above
are as much a characteristic of life in other countries as it is in our
own, in
our religion and in our culture. To think of changing all this in the
name of
civilization or modernity would be to cut at the very roots of our great
cultural and religious heritage.
A girl must become attached to her husband [that is she must be married]
before her mind is distributed by thoughts of love and desire and before
she begins to take an interest in her body. The innocent child that she
is
now, she will have the humility to regard her husband in an attitude of
surrender in the thoughts that he alone is her guru and that he alone is
her Isvara
Women in Andhra Prades and Maharastra even today observe many
vratas. Unmarried girls in these parts of the country worship Siva,
looking
upon him as their husband. When they get married they worship the
husband as Siva. First a girl, before her marriage, worships Siva as her
husband; later whoever comes into her life as her husband she looks
upon as Siva.
In childhood a girl does not ask questions. It is now that she will, out
of
her simple faith, look upon her husband as Paramesvara. This faith,
formed in her innocence, will take firm root in her mind when she
becomes older and begins to understand things. It is all the influence
of
our ages-old dharma of womanhood. A woman's devotion to her husband
will now be enduring and she will always look upon him as Paramesvara.
When a wife dedicates herself to her husband and does not nurse any
feelings of honour or dishonour so far as she herself is concerned, her
ego
will become extinct. And that means cessation from wordly existence; in
other words, liberation. Devotion, jnana, austerities, worship,
sacrifices,
yoga -- all these have for their goal the eradication of the ego. This a
woman obtains naturally and with ease through devotion to her husband.
There are such examples of womanhood in our land, women who were
totally dedicated to the husband. In the ethos of our nation they are
exalted even above the gods. Among them are Nalayani, Anasuya,
Sitadevi who was Mahalaksmi herself, Daksa's daughter Sati who was
indeed Parasakti (the Supreme Goddess), Savitri, Kannagi, Vasuki (wife
of
Tiruvalluvar). To think of them is to feel ecstatic with a sense of
pride. We
bow to them in respect at the very mention of their names. Why it is so
we cannot say.
We often hear critics of our traditions exclaim thus: "The husband is
God
to the wife? It's just babble. It's all superstition. It's suppression
of
woman. An outrage. “Whatever the criticism be, this is the custom of our
land. In this land called Bharata we have the Himalaya and the Ganga. If
you ask why they should be there, is there any answer? It is the same
with the woman who were queens of chastity. Do Europeans think of the
Alps as we think of Kailasa? Do we think of the Ganga in the same way as
the Americans think of Mississippi? Don't we experience in our hearts
the
divinity of our mountains and our rivers? For people in other countries
marriage is only a family arrangement. Our sastras have inspired our
conjugal life with the ideal of surrender to the husband as the supreme
means for the wife to obtain purity of the Self. If the system of child
marriage is opposed and changed on the pretext of bringing about the
social advancement of women, it will only serve the purpose of causing
injury to their Atmic advancement. It would mean creating a small
convenience for our women at the expense of the very great spiritual
reward that is theirs as the inheritors of our traditions.
To say that child marriage is harmful to a woman's body is empty talk.
Tough the girl is married as a child she will be ready for conjugal life
only
after she becomes physically mature. Besides on many days like the full
moon and the new moon the couple will have to practice continence.
Now such restrictions are not observed. Physical weakness has become
more common among people and neurologists prosper at their expense.
That the system of early marriage led to the existence of child widows
is
said to be a blot on the Hindu religion. But the number of children who
become widows is exaggerated, and the implication is that their
husbands must have died when they were in the age-group of 1525.
From what I have heard there are few deaths in this age-group. So the
number of child widows cannot be many. I would not deny their
existence altogether. It is painful to see even one child becoming a
widow. But considering the great benefits that child marriage brings we
must made an allowance for misfortunes like young girls being widowed.
Even now, if she is so fated, where is the assurance that a girl married
at
the age of 20 or more will not become a widow when she is still young?
We hear reports of couples who have been married only for two or three
months being killed in rail or plane accidents. Such tragedies do create
anguish. If the reason for banning child marriage is the phenomenon of
child widows, what is the guarantee that girls married when they are
older in years will not become widows?
If, according to the custom of our land, women are to look upon the
husband as the Lord in order to be released from worldly existence, the
only way to accomplish it is by following the sastras. "Our women
receive
high education, manage jobs, marry as they like. All this means
progress"
we often hear such talk. But that they are exposed to the gaze of all
and
sundry, become mentally and emotionally disturbed and are trapped in
awkward situations is a matter of constant worry to me, even fear.
Reformists rise in protest against child marriages and cry angrily:
"women
are suppressed and are subjected to cruelties like marriage. They are
denied their social rights." But I feel angrier when I think of the fact
that
conditions created in the name of social reform have put the great
family
treasure of women in jeopardy. I mean their prized possession of
chastity.
In fact I feel like shedding tears. Like Arjuna I too feel like crying
that
"when women are spoiled the family, the clan, declines. No, the whole
world will go to rot. And all will go to hell (Strisu dustasu Varsneya
jayate
varnasamkarah. Samkaro narakay'aiva)"
That women agree to be exposed like this, that their parents look on
this
with approval, burns me with anguish.
Leave aside all talk of progress or advancement. My constant worry is
that our girls must not be exposed to risks to their character. People
try
to console me with the assurance that nothing happens to our women
because they go to school or college or because they work in offices. I
too
have not lost faith in our women. But I see that they go about as they
please and that they have many opportunities to go astray. Cinema,
fiction, newspapers -- all these diversions are such as are calculated
to
cause them injury. All such things fill me with fear.
Now and then I do hear reports of unpleasant happenings involving
women. How can we right a wrong, what can we do after all the damage
has been done? Can we allow even a single incident to happen in this
land of ours that brings a taint to its womanhood? It makes my blood
boil
to think of what is happening to women in society. I seem to suffer all
the
worry and all the fear that parents ought to suffer about their
daughters.
I do not believe that all women will go astray or will be corrupted.
Reformists say that the presence of even one child widow is a blot on
our
society. I am afraid that even if one woman goes astray or is corrupted
it
should be a blot on our society that is a thousand times worse.
Vedam odiya Vediyarkkoru mazhai
Niti mannar neriyinukkor mazhai
Madar karpudai mangayarkkor mazhai
Madam munru mazhaiyenappeyume
To ensure that the king or the government will rule justify ("Niti
mannanneri") is not in my jurisdiction. But it is my responsibility to
see
that the Brahman chants the Vedas ("Bedam odiya Vediyarkkoru."). It is
also my duty to see that women are not afforded the "chance" to stray
from the path of virtue and chastity and that before a girl feels the
urge
of kama she will learn to look upon her husband as Isvara. Yes, it is my
responsibility to see that women do not deviate a bit from pativratya. I
feel that I must do all I can for this and I keep drawing up plans for
the
same. The goal is far off and it is receding faster than the speed with
which I try to reach it. But I will not give up the race. Nor will I nod
in
approval of what is happening in the name of modernity. I have not been
installed on this Pitha to watch helplessly the world go by and cry in
despair:" What is lost is lost. It is impossible to stem the tide of
Kali and
change things. "
From the remote past the Vedic tradition has flourished in this land, so
too stridharma. These have been nourished by this Matha for some two
thousand years. I have the title of "Jagadguru" and bear the name of
Sankara Bhagavadpada. I cannot therefore keep my mouth shut as this
heritage of ours is being destroyed. There will be no greater offence
than
it. As Bhagavan says in the Gita I must do my work in the belief that
victory or failure is in his hands. I will not retrace my steps and
shall keep
exerting myself to achieve the goal. The result will depend on my
sincerity, on my inner purity and on the intensity of my austerities. If
no
appreciable results are seen so far, it means that I am lacking in
sincerity
of purpose, mental purity and austereness. I feel so however much I am
applauded by the world.
Had we lost all, I would not have spoken on this subject. If all is lost
where
is the need to put in any effort? The Matha itself may be disbanded. But
all is not lost. A spark still remains. Proof of it is the presence of
so many
of you here wanting to listen to me. It does not matter whether or not
you will do what I ask you to do. The fact is you keep listening to me
patiently. That is why I tell you that there is a spark still left. I am
trying to
find out whether it could be fanned into a bright flame. If I too go the
way
that people go -- that is the way -- I should be disloyal to Sankara
Bhagavatpada.
It does good -- does it not? -- to speak my mind and unburden myself of
my feelings. You will remain devoted to me and I shall keep giving you
my
blessings: this relationship between us will continue. But if I fail to
bring
you to the path for which the Matha exists and yet accept money from
you, it means that I am guilty of extortion. That is why I gave candid
expression to my feelings.
With the grace of the Supreme Goddess we have had some success in
implementing the plans drawn up for the preservation of our Vedic
heritage. True we far from having achieved the goal of ensuring that the
scriptures are chanted in every home. But the fear that we once had felt
that Vedic learning might become extinct by the next generation or so no
longer exists. Today all over the country many students are learning not
only to chant the Vedas but also to understand their meaning.
The Child Marriage Act has my hands tied. According to the
Dharmasastra, a girl must be entrusted in the hands of a man, that is
her
husband, before she starts feeling the urge of kama. She will then
become steeped in the belief that he is her Lord. And when she begins to
feel the natural urges she will dedicate her body to him. This is the
law of
the Dharmasastra. But the law of state is contrary to the law of the
Dharmasastra. Even so I will not ask you to disobey it. However, we must
keep speaking untiringly of the law of the Dharmasastra and wait and see
whether the government changes its mind. |
