"I am often beset by atheistic doubts. Yet a
torturing surmise sometimes haunts me: may not untapped soul
possibilities exist? Is man not missing his real destiny if he fails to
explore them?"
These
remarks of Dijen Babu, my roommate at the Panthi boardinghouse,
were called forth by my invitation that he meet my guru.
"Sri
Yukteswarji will initiate you into Kriya Yoga," I replied. "It
calms the dualistic turmoil by a divine inner certainty."
That evening Dijen
accompanied me to the hermitage. In Master's presence my friend received
such spiritual peace that he was soon a constant visitor. The trivial
preoccupations of daily life are not enough for man; wisdom too is a
native hunger. In Sri Yukteswar's words Dijen found an incentive to
those attemptsfirst painful, then effortlessly liberatingto locate a
realer self within his bosom than the humiliating ego of a temporary
birth, seldom ample enough for the Spirit.
As Dijen and I
were both pursuing the A.B. course at Serampore College, we got into the
habit of walking together to the ashram as soon as classes were over. We
would often see Sri Yukteswar standing on his second-floor balcony,
welcoming our approach with a smile.
One afternoon
Kanai, a young hermitage resident, met Dijen and me at the door with
disappointing news.
"Master is not
here; he was summoned to Calcutta by an urgent note."
The following day
I received a post card from my guru. "I shall leave Calcutta Wednesday
morning," he had written. "You and Dijen meet the nine o'clock train at
Serampore station."
About eight-thirty
on Wednesday morning, a telepathic message from Sri Yukteswar flashed
insistently to my mind: "I am delayed; don't meet the nine o'clock
train."
I conveyed the
latest instructions to Dijen, who was already dressed for departure.
"You and your
intuition!" My friend's voice was edged in scorn. "I prefer to trust
Master's written word."
I shrugged my
shoulders and seated myself with quiet finality. Muttering angrily,
Dijen made for the door and closed it noisily behind him.
As the room was
rather dark, I moved nearer to the window overlooking the street. The
scant sunlight suddenly increased to an intense brilliancy in which the
iron-barred window completely vanished. Against this dazzling background
appeared the clearly materialized figure of Sri Yukteswar!
Bewildered to the
point of shock, I rose from my chair and knelt before him. With my
customary gesture of respectful greeting at my guru's feet, I touched
his shoes. These were a pair familiar to me, of orange-dyed canvas,
soled with rope. His ocher swami cloth brushed against me; I distinctly
felt not only the texture of his robe, but also the gritty surface of
the shoes, and the pressure of his toes within them. Too much astounded
to utter a word, I stood up and gazed at him questioningly.
"I was pleased
that you got my telepathic message." Master's voice was calm, entirely
normal. "I have now finished my business in Calcutta, and shall arrive
in Serampore by the ten o'clock train."
As I still stared
mutely, Sri Yukteswar went on, "This is not an apparition, but my flesh
and blood form. I have been divinely commanded to give you this
experience, rare to achieve on earth. Meet me at the station; you and
Dijen will see me coming toward you, dressed as I am now. I shall be
preceded by a fellow passengera little boy carrying a silver jug."
My
guru placed both hands on my head, with a murmured blessing. As he
concluded with the words, "Taba asi,"1
I heard a peculiar rumbling sound.2
His body began to melt gradually within the piercing light. First
his feet and legs vanished, then his torso and head, like a scroll being
rolled up. To the very last, I could feel his fingers resting lightly on
my hair. The effulgence faded; nothing remained before me but the barred
window and a pale stream of sunlight.
I remained in a
half-stupor of confusion, questioning whether I had not been the victim
of a hallucination. A crestfallen Dijen soon entered the room.
"Master was not on
the nine o'clock train, nor even the nine-thirty." My friend made his
announcement with a slightly apologetic air.
"Come then; I know
he will arrive at ten o'clock." I took Dijen's hand and rushed him
forcibly along with me, heedless of his protests. In about ten minutes
we entered the station, where the train was already puffing to a halt.
"The whole train
is filled with the light of Master's aura! He is there!" I exclaimed
joyfully.
"You dream so?"
Dijen laughed mockingly.
"Let us wait
here." I told my friend details of the way in which our guru would
approach us. As I finished my description, Sri Yukteswar came into view,
wearing the same clothes I had seen a short time earlier. He walked
slowly in the wake of a small lad bearing a silver jug.
For a moment a
wave of cold fear passed through me, at the unprecedented strangeness of
my experience. I felt the materialistic, twentieth-century world
slipping from me; was I back in the ancient days when Jesus appeared
before Peter on the sea?
As Sri Yukteswar,
a modern Yogi-Christ, reached the spot where Dijen and I were
speechlessly rooted, Master smiled at my friend and remarked:
"I sent you a
message too, but you were unable to grasp it."
Dijen was silent,
but glared at me suspiciously. After we had escorted our guru to his
hermitage, my friend and I proceeded toward Serampore College. Dijen
halted in the street, indignation streaming from his every pore.
"So! Master sent
me a message! Yet you concealed it! I demand an explanation!"
"Can I help it if
your mental mirror oscillates with such restlessness that you cannot
register our guru's instructions?" I retorted.
The anger vanished
from Dijen's face. "I see what you mean," he said ruefully. "But please
explain how you could know about the child with the jug."
By the time I had
finished the story of Master's phenomenal appearance at the
boardinghouse that morning, my friend and I had reached Serampore
College.
"The account I
have just heard of our guru's powers," Dijen said, "makes me feel that
any university in the world is only a kindergarten."
1 The Bengali "Good-by"; literally, it is a hopeful paradox: "Then I
come."
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2 The characteristic sound of dematerialization of bodily atoms.
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